“A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.” ~Tenneva Jordan

It’s time for my annual Mother’s Day Public Service Announcement, to remind you that next Sunday belongs to Mom. This year, I’m thinking about gracious giving.

Daily, in a dozen different ways, Mom gives up her share of the pie. And in most cases, she never says a word about it. And her family never notices.

Because of that, I get upset when I hear about people neglecting their poor wives and moms on Mother’s Day. Is it too much to give Mom the honor she’s due, for just one day?

I only have to glance around at my friends and family to see mothers at various stages of sacrifice.

Jen is pregnant and suffering through hormone-induced headaches. She sucks it up and waits them out instead of taking medication to relieve the pain. She went to the movies last weekend. Between rushing to the bathroom with morning sickness and dozing from pregnancy exhaustion, she missed the entire film.

My friend Tasha just delivered her first baby and is living that hellish boot-camp indoctrination into the realities of newborn sleep deprivation. It’s an exhaustion that cannot be put into words—it can only be lived. But it sure does prepare a woman for all the sleepless nights ahead, which, according to my grandmother, never end because a mom never stops worrying about her children.

Liz’s kids are in school now, and she has struggled with a desire to go back to college and finish her degree. She wants to do it; everyone says that she should. But going back to school means that her kids will have to give up some of their extracurricular activities. And with a husband who works out of town more often than not, she can’t count on him to be there for the kids. She just called to say that she’s going to wait a few more years—she loves her kids too much to ask them to give up anything for her dreams.

My own mom has put her happy golden years in Florida on hold to take care of her ailing mother here in Georgia. She hasn’t been home for more than a couple of days over the past few years, but she doesn’t hesitate to say that it’s all worth it. Her eyes mist over as she recalls all the ways her mother has been there for her, and insists that this is the least she can do in return.

And it’s not just these big things that moms give up. It’s tons of little things, like that pie. Most mornings I’m nursing Jonah with my dry tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth and my own stomach grumbling with hunger. But he has to eat first, and I have to get all the kids ready before I take care of my own needs. It’s second nature now—with this third child, I am totally used to being at the bottom of the priority list. And that is how it should be.

It’s not that we moms feel like tortured martyrs or anything—well, not most of the time. Every mom I know would willingly give up everything they’ve given, and more, if it is what’s best for the family. Every mother I know is doing that now.

But when May rolls around, if you took the time to ask, most moms—if they’re honest—will admit that they’d love just one day out of 365 to not automatically put themselves last.

Making that happen is going to look different in each family. Maybe it means letting mom sleep in while dad takes the kids out of the house. Maybe it’s brunch at her favorite restaurant, or the whole family worshiping in church together.

Maybe it’s as simple as going to Dollar Tree, buying a fifty-cent card and mailing it.

Whatever it is, please try to make it happen. Let her know you love her and appreciate all the things she’s given up for you. I have yet to meet a mother who doesn’t deserve it.