In just five minutes, my toddler…

-Taste-tested the diaper ointment

-Sprinkled most of a cup of juice over the kitchen floor — then fell in it. Then rubbed his diapered bum across it. Then hopped up and left a trail of sticky footprints into the dining room.

-While I was distracted with cleaning the floor, he turned off the burner under the macaroni and turned up the one under the meat…and reset the timer

-Ran away with the bin of crayons and poured them onto his brother’s bed

-Scribbled on a dining room chair seat with permanent ink

-Asked for a cracker, then crushed it to oblivion between his chubby little hands, while smiling at me

ALL of that…in just five minutes.

So, that’s a little over one incident per minute. The child is awake for about 14 out of every 24 hours, or, 840 minutes.

That equals at least 840 opportunities for disaster. Every single day.

Actually, I think that figure sounds a little low compared to what it feels like we deal with on a daily basis…

God was smart to make little kids so darn cute. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be able to take it! LOL