Life with Boys

23Aug2008 Filed under: blah-blah-blog

The other night, I’d just finished reading the kids a story in my bed, when Zach started giggling. He asked if I’d noticed anything different in my bedroom. Judging by the mischevious expressions on both kids’ faces, I knew they’d been up to something.

I told him that I hadn’t, at which time he lifted my pillow and showed me this:

And I screamed, because I don’t like bugs and it didn’t immediately register that it was a plastic spider. The boys laughed until they cried.

Fast-forward two days, to yesterday, when I went to change the sheets. I picked up my pillow, and…

Yes, this time it was a plastic mouse and I couldn’t help cracking up. I don’t know what was funnier: their being sophisticated enough to pull pranks on their old ma, or the fact that I sleep so soundly that I never noticed (twice, mind you!) a hard plastic animal underneath my pillow!

Guess who’s NOT getting any new creepy creatures for Halloween this year???

Stop the car!

20Aug2008 Filed under: blah-blah-blog

Donnie climbed back into bed with me this morning and grinning broadly, said, “Happy 40th Birthday Eve.”

Smarty-pants. He’s lucky I didn’t smack him.

I grimaced, moaned, and rolled back over. “Don’t remind me. I already feel like I’m dragging my feet in my Flintstone-mobile but the brakes just aren’t working.”


Eli’s newest creation

19Aug2008 Filed under: blah-blah-blog, Moments with Eli

Introducing the FC 60!

I have no idea what FC 60 stands for, and neither does Eli. He just thought it sounded cool.

We’ve officially started back with homeschooling now. Zach got to go on a field trip today, so Eli and I decided to have some fun. We watched a couple of educational shows, and in one of them, these kids built “robots” out of household stuff. So, Eli and I made a racing robot. He gathered all the parts; I helped with putting it together. The crumpled paper is the brain. The eyes are supposed to look like binoculars, and the mouth is a straight line because, as he said, robots don’t smile.

And, here is my little goofball, posing with his creation. He is acting like a robot:

Speaking of robots, does anyone else have an older relative who pronounces the word “RO-but”? Both my and Donnie’s grandfathers said “robot” that way. Just wondering….

The Bathroom Door is Closed

18Aug2008 Filed under: blah-blah-blog

I didn’t write this…my friend Gina sent it to me, and it was too funny not to share!





ATTENTION CHILDREN: The Bathroom Door is Closed.

Please do not stand here and talk, whine, or ask questions. Wait until I get

Yes, it is locked. I want it that way. It is not broken, I am not trapped. I
know I have left it unlocked, and even open at times, since you were born,
because I was afraid some horrible tragedy might occur while I was in here,
but it’s been 10 years and I want some PRIVACY.

Do not ask me how long I will be. I will come out when I am done.

Do not bring the phone to the bathroom door.

Do not go running back to the phone yelling, “She’s in the BATHROOM!”

Do not begin to fight as soon as I go in.

Do not stick your little fingers under the door and wiggle them. This was
funny when you were two, but not now.

Do not slide pennies, Legos, or notes under the door. Even when you were two
this got a little tiresome.

If you have followed me down the hall talking, and are still talking as you
face this closed door, please turn around, walk away, and wait for me in
another room. I will be glad to listen to you when I am done.

And yes, I still love you.


And then I screamed like a little girl

16Aug2008 Filed under: blah-blah-blog

I just spent ten minutes typing out something that happened tonight, that was both terrifying and pee-in-my-pants funny. But the more I typed and the more layers I added, the more I realized that it would actually make a good column. So I’m not blogging about it. Sorry. Can’t waste those 600 words that will one day save me from staying up all night on a Thursday frantically trying to meet my deadline. :-D

It won’t go to print til the end of August, probably, but look for it. It’s about a cockroach…one of those massive, horrid, evil 2″ long things we get down here in the south. I am deathly afraid of them. Therefore I do really stupid things when I encounter one.

Speaking of (potentially) stupid things, guess what I did today? Decided that we’re going to plant some pumpkin and acorn squash seeds and see if we can have a small fall garden with usable produce by Thanksgiving. I have two brown thumbs, but the kids have been bugging me to death to do this, so, we’ll see what happens. It’ll be a good learning experience, anyway. I can just hear myself come November, “Now children, what have we learned from our little experiment? That’s right: Mama’s gardening skills stink!”