The lighting was dim and the air filled with the fragrance of carnations and roses last Friday night. The tiny baby lay there quietly, with perfectly round cheeks and a little button nose, like on all newborn faces. A knit cap covered his hair, a monogrammed blanket was tucked beneath his chin, and as I heard others remarking, that precious baby looked just like a porcelain doll displayed in a box.

Except babies aren’t supposed to be still, or quiet or placed inside boxes. It was the most terrible, beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, this wake for a longed-for, stillborn first son.

And I thought again what I’ve thought so often: no parent should ever have to bury their child.

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This column originally ran in The Covington News in 2006.

I wouldn’t have believed it if someone predicted I’d give birth to two picky eaters. My older sons actually refuse to eat fresh fruit. I struggle to understand this behavior.

Both of them opened up like baby birds for pureed peaches, plums, even prunes when they were infants. Zachary loved Gerber bananas, but the first time I gave him the real fruit, he gagged on the texture and has hated them ever since. Eli consumed his “nonnies” like a proper monkey until he got old enough for Zach to influence his choices. Sadly, it’s been a year since he’s eaten a banana.

I look at these darling, intelligent children and wonder how they can refuse fruit? What is there not to like about the honey-sweetness of a crisp red grape, or the heady perfume of fresh golden pineapple? Other kids eat this stuff. I know, because I’ve seen them. Heck, I was one of them.

I don’t remember being allowed to dislike much when I was a child. Perhaps that’s why I’ve always eaten just about anything. I can only recall three things I refused to eat back then—fried green tomatoes, rutabagas, and liver.

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I love a deal. I especially love things that are FREE!

I have a relative who travels a lot and often brings me shampoos and soaps from the hotels at which she stays. She is very persnickety about what she chooses — no cheap-o Dial soap here. She’s graced me with lots of lovely little bottles from Bath and Body Works and Crabtree and Evelyn. One of my favorite scents is this:

Crabtree and Evelyn’s Citron, Honey and Coriander. Yum, yum and YUM! I have the shampoo, conditioner and tiny bar soap. I use them on those nights when I want a little extra “somethin’-somethin’” in the shower, a break from my usual Dove products. But, sadly, the little bottles are only good for two showers at the most. And I want to enjoy that fragrance longer.

But check it out: on the C&E website, a bottle of hand soap in this fragrance is $22.00 before shipping!

Yeah, I love it, but I don’t love it enough to pay THAT much for one lil’ ol’ bottle of hand soap.

SO, brilliant domestic goddess that I am, I had an idea: how about refilling a foam hand soap dispenser with a trial-size shampoo bottle and fill the rest of it up with water?

It works, and how well it does! It leaves my hands so soft, and with that beautiful, lingering fragrance.

And it’s free. Did I mention the free part?

Remember this when you get down to that last bit of shampoo in the bottle. Just add about 7 ounces of water to each ounce of shampoo and voila — instant foam hand soap for pennies!

You’re welcome.

A few friends have asked for my soft gingerbread cake recipe, so I thought it would be easiest to share it here. I first baked it to use in this amazing Pumpkin Gingerbread Trifle, but it was so great by itself that I’ll have to make it again.

And again.

Oh, and you should try that pumpkin trifle recipe this Thanksgiving— it’s fabulous. It’s good using the gingerbread mix called for in the recipe. But it is positively awesome using half a pan of this gingerbread.

Happy Baking!

Old Fashioned Gingerbread Recipe

• 3 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
• 3/4 teaspoons salt
• 1 1/4 Tablespoons ground ginger
• 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
• 1/2 cup solid shortening
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1 large egg
• 1 1/3 cup molasses
• 1 cup room temperature water

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.
2. Spray a 9″ X 13″ baking pan with vegetable spray.
3. In a large bowl, sift together flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, ginger and cinnamon. Set aside.
4. In a large bowl of a stand mixer, or with a hand mixer, beat together the shortening and sugar until fluffy.
5. Scrape sides of bowl. Add the egg and mix again, then the molasses, scraping if necessary.
6. On low speed, add dry ingredients, alternating with water until the batter is smooth. Scrape sides of bowl one more time.
7. Pour into prepared pan and bake for approximately 45 minutes or until tooth pick comes out clean. Cool on wire rack, and serve warm, by itself or topped with whipped cream and caramel sauce.

**Note: This is not the kind of gingerbread that can be rolled out for cookies. It’s a fluid batter that results in soft cake.

1. In November, I most look forward to Thanksgiving.

2. Halloween is over…phew!

3. It’s right there, in the place you left it. Where it doesn’t belong. (Guess how many times a day I say THIS?)

4. Money doesn’t buy happiness, but having enough of it might purchase a little peace of mind.

5. Water is my favorite beverage.

6. “Well, hang fire!” is what my grandmother used to say!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to family pizza and a movie night featuring Donnie’s homemade pizza, tomorrow my plans include taking Eli to a birthday party and Sunday, I want to relax. I won’t have time to, but I’ll want to just the same! LOL!

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