November might just be this tired mom’s favorite month of the year. I used to think it was October, what with the arrival of autumn and all the fun family events surrounding Halloween. And my October was truly delightful—I finally made good on a two-year promise to my kids that we’d host a Halloween party, and we all had an awesome time enjoying friends, food and fellowship.

Halloween night, we met up with friends who combined trick-or-treating with a hayride, and I’m convinced that riding around, snuggled in a blanket on a warm bale of hay, is the only way to go.

It was such fun to see my little two-year-old Jonah running around dressed as a perfectly-sized Yoda from “Star Wars,” thrilled to discover the joy that is trick-or-treating. At the first house, he wasn’t sure about the whole thing, but then he realized he’d been given rare, precious candy. When the people at the second house gave him a pack of M&Ms, he clutched it in his little fist and said, “Eat snack! Eat snack!” all the way back to the car. And then he was hooked!

But even though it was a blast and worth every minute of work that went into it, I’m kind of glad that the Halloween madness is over.

November feels like pure peace after all the hurrying and scurrying to accomplish everything on our October calendar. The weather is still perfect, the leaves are at their beautiful peak of fall color, and the Christmas craziness has not yet begun—no matter how hard the retailers try to prematurely shove it down our throats. I refuse to accept it, as stubbornly as a toddler clamps her mouth shut against a spoon heaped with boiled spinach.

This month is a gift I look forward to every year, a blessed lull in an overscheduled calendar, a time for Thanksgiving and family, a time of peace. I want to relax and enjoy the downtime, not turn November into an extended December, no matter how wonderful the holidays might be. As the book of Ecclesiastes says, “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.” For me anyway, the purpose of November is to rest and focus on gratitude.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could bring a little November into every day? My friend Tiffany Hendra is one of the most inspirational people I know. She posted something on Facebook the other day that resonated with my soul and reflects this concept of finding a bit of gratitude and peace in every day.

She suggested that each night, just as we take a good, hot shower to wash away the dirt, sweat and grime from the day, we should also take an internal bath before going to bed, to cleanse away the cares of life.

Unclench your jaw, let out a long exhale, loosen your shoulders and clear your mind. Let go of any drama or irritations that plagued you that day, forgive those who offended you, and give thanks for the gift of life and the comfortable bed you sleep on.

November is the perfect time to do this on a larger scale. Instead of fretting over what December might bring, instead of starting the Christmas planning and shopping, just release all the stress and enjoy the gifts hidden in today. That steaming mug of coffee, the brilliant red cardinal hopping among the orange and golden leaves, the cool breeze refreshing your lungs, the soft flannel enveloping your shoulders, the calmness in knowing there is nowhere else you have to be but enjoying life in this very moment—all those simple things are the gifts of November.

Take the time to enjoy them, won’t you?

This column ran in the October 12th edition of “The Covington News.”

It’s no secret that autumn is my favorite season, but there are five things about it that stir up a “Jekyll-and-Hyde” love-and-hate style response in me.

1. Having the windows open. I love it because the cool, fresh air circulating through the house feels so amazing. Nothing beats sleeping with the windows cracked open and hearing the leaves stirring outside as the crisp night air sneaks in and curls over my bed. I love snuggling under the blankets, waking up in the morning with a cold nose, and warming up again over a steaming cup of coffee.

However…

…thanks to neighbors who are too unmotivated to haul their trash to the dump, I frequently have to close the windows to my beloved autumn breeze because it carries with it the revolting smoke from their burning garbage. I’m all for individual freedom and the right to do what you want on your own property. But when you’re in a neighborhood, with houses on all four sides of yours, there’s no way to burn without making other people miserable. If you live on 20 acres and want to burn some trash, fine—have at it. But I’d support any local candidate that promises to create a permanent ban on outdoor burning in residential areas.

2. The foliage. I love driving along I-20 and witnessing the tree-covered rolling hills gently fade from all-green into a mixed palette of red, orange, yellow and brown. I eagerly await the time when the color reaches its peak. When that happens, I could spend every moment of every day outdoors and never tire of looking at the beauty of God’s artistry. That is, if my allergies would let me. I don’t know about you, but my fall allergies are always worse than spring. I hate that my favorite season is marred by itchy eyes, sniffles, raging sinus headaches and antihistamine-induced drowsiness. But as living in Orlando taught me, I’d rather sneeze my way through the glory of the season’s change than have no autumn at all.

3. The clothing. Oh, I get so excited when it’s time to get out the sweaters, long sleeves and boots! I love the darker, richer colors, bundling up in warm, soft, cuddly clothes, wearing long blue jeans and my favorite sweatshirt again. But I am always dismayed to find that my boys outgrew nearly all of last winter’s clothes—it just never seems like they should’ve grown that much, so quickly. So this has been that awkward week that they’re running around in long-sleeve shirts and shorts, because they no longer have any pants that fit and I have to wait until payday to outfit them all again.

4. Halloween. I just finished decorating my house for Halloween and it is so festive! I love the pumpkins, the scarecrows, the planning for costumes and parties. Our new favorite tradition started last year when a friend invited us to ride along on their hay-covered trailer for trick-or-treating—we cannot wait to do that again. I always feel like a big kid again on Halloween, in some ways, even more than at Christmastime. Making Christmas for the family is so much work, but Halloween is just simple fun.

So what’s there to hate about the holiday? It really bothers me how dark it’s become. I hate when I’ve got little kids out trick-or-treating and someone walks by in a terrifyingly realistic, gory costume. It makes me miss my childhood, when evil things weren’t so glorified, when vampires weren’t considered the ultimate in cool and Halloween offered more fun treats than wicked tricks.

5. Finally, the weather. Sunshine, bright blue skies and cotton-candy clouds, low humidity and cool breezes—utter perfection. I feel like I come alive again every year when October chases off the last remnants of summer. So what could possibly be hate-worthy about fall weather? Only the fact that it doesn’t last forever. As novelist George Eliot said, “Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns.”

You might’ve seen us: four fat chicks bundled in blankets and four various-aged boys in costume, sitting on hay bales in a trailer decorated for Halloween, pulled behind a big SUV. The night was a picture of fall perfection, crunchy brown leaves drifting down, a cold breeze ruffling our hair as we rolled along under a black sky dotted with a thousand sparkling stars.

I don’t know if our brains were frozen, or we were all high on sugar or what, but we had a bad case of the sillies. All of the boys were cracking jokes, whooping and hollering as boys do. And these women are some of the funniest people I know. Our self-deprecating fat jokes alone made me wish I’d pulled on a pair of Depends underpants before heading out.

My son Zach dressed up as Charlie Brown’s ghost from “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”—he wore a white sheet with a dozen or more holes cut out of it. It was a great costume—he received a lot of compliments. The only problem was that he took it off between stops and then had trouble finding the actual eye holes when he put it back on. So half the time, he was a one-eyed ghost and the rest of the time he resembled a Muslim housewife in a burqa. Maybe you had to be there, but his continual wardrobe malfunctions were hilarious.

Then the poor, half-blinded child stumbled as he climbed back into the trailer and got tightly wedged face-down between two bales of hay. Our friend driving the truck took off before we could get him unstuck, so Zach rode like that for a block, unable to move a muscle while all eight of us howled with laughter. It looked like we had killed Charlie Brown and carried his body along for the ride.

That was the most fun I’ve had on Halloween since I was a kid. And isn’t that one of the greatest pleasures of parenthood, to get to act like a kid again? What a gift, to just forget about the bills and the backache and fully melt into a purely joyful experience. I was hoarse the rest of the night from laughing so hard. And that’s a clear sign of having had a good time.

My only regret is that my husband Donnie didn’t go with us. Granted, somebody needed to stay home with the baby and hand out candy. But even if he hadn’t needed to do those things, he probably still wouldn’t have chosen to come along. He’s not exactly a stick-in-the-mud, but he wasn’t brought up making a big deal of all holidays like I was.

You’d think we’d be used to those differences by now. We’ve been married for almost 20 years, but it’s still an area where our conflicting wishes regularly surface. Most holidays, it’s my huge expectations, wanting to make every holiday a lasting memory for the kids, versus his desire to keep everything low-key.

When I was a kid, my dad drove us around to different neighborhoods until we were trick-or-treated out. But Donnie stayed in his own little subdivision. And I would be fine with that, except there are maybe five houses that give out candy where we live now. So, when we were invited to go with our friends, I couldn’t resist the opportunity to give my boys a Halloween like the ones I grew up with.

They’re still talking about how much fun they had. I think we’ve almost convinced Donnie to join us in December when our friends plan to load up the trailer again to look at Christmas lights. I can see it now; all of us bundled up in the crisp night air, sipping hot cider, listening to holiday music as we roll along together, having fun and making memories. If you ask me, that’s what the holidays are for—and I hope my husband will be right there with us.

Elias, aka Jinga Fett (or is that Boba Fett? Not so knowledgeable about the Star Wars…)

But I do know which character THIS is. Jonah IS Yoda!

There are no pics of me in costume, because I went as an overweight, middle-aged mom of three. Looked just like my headshot up there, but with curlier, crazier hair.

Zach, his second Halloween, totally despising his Tigger hood!

Zach at age 2, my calmer, happier little Mickey:

Eli’s first Halloween, escaping from the pumpkin. Note the scar on his face—he’s always been into everything!

And Zach, the same year (2002) with the finished painted pumpkin:

Eli “Hulk” and Zach “Darth Vader” in 2005, at a Halloween party hosted by our friends, Pam and Todd.

The following year, Eli was Spiderman and Zach was a dog-walker. Our sweet now-deceased dogs are in the picture, in costume, too. Tonya had a white stripe painted down her back, as a skunk, and Molly was in workout clothes.

Me, in 2008 as the Fall Fairy, with my grandmother Honey admiring my wings. Now she has a pair of her own…

And Eli “Hammerhead” and Zach “Alien Abduction” the same year:

And last but not least, last year, with our new little pumpkin, so cute and crying:

1. While the cat’s away, Jonah goes looking for him. Poor Max. He’s such a loving kitty, he doesn’t have the heart to run away from Destructo Boy.

2. Leftover Mellow Mushroom White Pizza es muy fabuloso!

3. Children make Halloween so darn fun, I can barely stand it!

4. I check email and Facebook when I get home from work or shopping or what have you.

5. This may seem odd, but I usually buy Halloween candy that I won’t be tempted to eat after it’s over.

6. For the first time since softball season began in August, we get to sleep in tomorrow— and that seems like a fine idea to me!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to RELAXING, and catching up on some writing, tomorrow my plans include grocery shopping, writing, a softball team party, and possibly attending a fall festival or two and Sunday, I want to go to church, then get everyone ready for Halloween, and spend the evening trick-or-treating, reliving the fun of Halloween with my precious kiddos!

Read more and make your own Friday Fill-in list here.

Eli as Jingo Fett from Star Wars, and Zach as an old lady carrying a baby on her back:

And my little pumpkin, who is a total cuddle-bug and NOT at all happy when not being held:

And two cool Jack O’Lanterns; the first, Zach’s original design. And the second, Eli’s pumpkin, which Donnie ended up carving into a really cool design. Next year, I’m buying us old folks our own pumpkins to carve. It’s fun!

Happy Halloween from me and my three little pumpkins!

September days are here,

With summer’s best of weather

And autumn’s best of cheer.”

-Helen Hunt Jackson

Over the past week, I’ve heard several friends lamenting the end of August. I’ve tried to sympathize with their sorrow, and the mourning of summer-lovers everywhere. But try as I might, I just can’t relate.

Of all the months of the year, August is the one I always want to push through and just get it over with. I’m like the tired flight attendant standing at the airplane’s door, plastered with a giant smile and waving an enthusiastic “Buh-bye!” to August as it saunters away.

The only redeeming thing I find in August is my birthday, but the older I get the less exciting that is. Something about hitting 40 eroded the luster right off that special day, and this year’s 41 was about as thrilling as a dental cleaning. I’m happy to be alive, no doubt. But even my birthday can’t make me excited about long, hot August. By July, I am done with summer and August feels like an interminable sauna to sweat through before welcoming fall.

So as you can imagine, I’m tickled pink that September is just one full day away. If you’re one of those mourning the passing of another summer, maybe you can find at least one reason to smile as I share my top reasons to celebrate this time of year. Most are linked to item number one:

1. The worst of the summer heat is over. Sure, there will still be a few September scorchers, but as you can already tell in the early morning hours, summer is losing its death grip on the south. I could not be happier. I am a royal grump when I’m hot, and being hugely pregnant this year made it, for me anyway, the hottest summer ever.

2. Soon, we’ll be able to go for a walk without breaking into a sweat five steps outside the front door because of the humidity. And the kids can ride their bikes in the afternoon without turning beet-red with heat exhaustion.

3. Lower humidity equals more great hair days for this curly-headed mama.

4. Halloween is just 60 days away. I got a Family Circle magazine in the mail yesterday and felt giddy when I saw jack-o-lanterns on the cover. I am already dreaming of the kids’ costumes, pumpkins on the porch, scarecrows and cobwebs decorating the front yard.

5. Stores are carrying pumpkin-scented candles again. Nothing smells like fall quite like a pumpkin spice candle burning in the living room while something cinnamon-sweet bakes in the kitchen.

6. Our kids have been back to school long enough that they’re used to the routine. Review time is over and serious learning can start taking place again.

7. By the end of August, all the back-to-school spending is over and our empty wallets can start to refill with September paychecks. Another bonus: all the new clothes and shoes still fit, and will for quite a while longer.

8. Football season is starting. I’m not a huge fan of the sport, but it brings to mind team sweatshirts and stocking caps, and hot chocolate sipped under a blanket, snuggled on the bleachers with someone you love.

9. It’s so energizing to fling open the windows and feel the fresh air flowing through the house after months of running the air conditioner. The sight of curtains dancing in the wind is enough to make me want to dance, too.

10. Atlanta’s summer pollution haze will slowly fade away and the skies will soon return to brilliant blue, dotted with powder-puff clouds, glowing golden in the late afternoon sun.

Finally, if you’re really hard-pressed to find a reason to enjoy the end of August, today is National Toasted Marshmallow Day. And tomorrow is Love Litigating Lawyers Day. So go toast a marshmallow and kiss a lawyer—or toast the lawyer and kiss the marshmallow.

Meanwhile, I’ll echo the sentiments of Victorian author, George Eliot: “Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns.”