My poor blog. It’s been a bit neglected lately.

Poor little ol’ neglected blog…nobody loves her. LOL

It’s been an interesting week of…hmm…let’s call it “growth.” If you’ve ever prayed for patience, you know what I mean: you ask God to make you a more patient person, and almost immediately everyone starts jumping on your last nerve—usually all at once! I think God sends those times to test us, to see if we really mean what we prayed, and to give us an opportunity to exercise those virtues he’s trying to develop in us.

So this week, I was inspired by my pastor’s awesome sermon on gratitude to start focusing more on being thankful for what I have instead of focusing on everything that’s wrong. You know what’s next, right? It’s Thursday, and it feels like I’ve had about three weeks’ worth of things going wrong since Sunday. I have been battling frustration like I haven’t in recent memory.

I don’t want to list everything that’s gone wrong, because that’s just casting focus on those things. But this week is teaching me how very hard it is to only share problems with God when you’re in the habit of venting to other people. Yet I really believe it’s a sign of maturity to be able to do that, so it’s a goal I’m striving toward. But it sure isn’t easy.

I was going through that mental battle yesterday morning, when I got an email from a sweet lady who’s read my column for years. She was so encouraging in her brief note; it just brightened my whole day. Thank God for prompting her to send me that! But then I slipped back into mulling over some financial concerns, fretting over how to sort out the next payday’s budget, wondering about when Donnie and I might get paid for some freelancing we did, wondering how to make ends meet when they appeared ten yards apart. Just the usual fretting over finances around here.

It wasn’t a few minutes later that I got a message from a pastor who runs an orphanage in Uganda, asking me to pray for him to be able to meet the needs of the children in his care. They have been working to plant a garden to help feed the kids and it isn’t going well. His English is rather broken; I am not exactly sure what is going on. I know that he recently took in four siblings whose only parent, a father, recently passed away. These precious kids were crowded together in a mud hut about the size of my bathroom. And if the orphanage’s garden isn’t successful, all 29 of the children there will struggle to have anything to eat.

Talk about putting things into perspective regarding gratitude. I’d just fed a bowl of lunch leftovers to my dog, because I didn’t want to throw it away. And today I sit here and type in air conditioning, with a stomach full of broccoli cheese soup and tea, surrounded by healthy children who’ve never had to miss a meal or even a snack despite the financial struggles we have had.

And perspective suddenly shifts into very clear focus on how much I am blessed and how much gratitude I owe God. It also makes me realize how much I need to make sure that what I’ve been blessed with is given back to those in need. By American standards, I am not rich. But by worldly standards, my family, my extended family and all of my friends—we live as kings and queens! We all have so much to give—even if we don’t have tons of riches to give away, most of us can trim the budget enough to have something to offer those in need. Even the busiest of us have time to help others, even if it’s just taking ten seconds to say an encouraging word to someone who is struggling.

The Bible says that to whom much is given, much is required. We have been given so much; every breath, every heartbeat is a gift from God above. When we take a minute to be mindful, to stop complaining and just be thankful, we can see our blessings clearly and know that our lives, if we want to follow Christ’s example, must include giving back to others as an offering of thanksgiving.

Today I’m thankful for all the pain in life. Odd thing to be grateful for, isn’t it? But the above quote sums it up: we don’t always appreciate what we have until we’re reminded of how things could be.

I’m grateful for recent interactions with mentally ill loved ones. Though painful at the time, each episode awakened me to what a blessing it is to be mentally healthy. (Not that I don’t have my issues—we all have issues. But it sure could be a lot worse. I am thankful that I don’t know what it’s like to live with such a huge degree of internal turmoil.)

I’m grateful for the heartache I felt when I read through a friend’s legal forms to set up custody arrangements in her impending divorce. I am so sorry she is going through this—it all seems so overwhelming. But I seriously considered divorce when Donnie and I were having problems after he returned from the war. When I saw the details spelled out before me of what we’d have had to go through—of what our children would’ve had to go through—I was so thankful that it didn’t happen. I don’t always take the time to thank God for the quiet, solid, mature marriage Donnie and I have today, but it is a blessing and a testament to healing. I know that reconciliation isn’t always possible (or even preferable, as in my friend’s case) but I am grateful that Donnie and I are still together.

I’m thankful that I get to be with my grandmother during her last days alive. I hate seeing her suffering. I hate it. If I could’ve chosen her way to pass, it would’ve been quick and painless.  If anyone ever deserved that, it’s my sweet grandmother. Yet, she suffers, and has for well beyond what anyone, including her doctors, predicted. It’s especially hard to uncover the good behind this, yet it’s there. I’ve had plenty of time to make sure she knows how much I love her. She is still mentally coherent most of the time, and has told me again and again how precious I am to her, how beautiful I am, all the wonderful things she’s said to me always but I never truly took to heart until now. She lights up when the boys and I visit, and I don’t know that I’ve ever seen such pure joy behind someone’s eyes when I walked into the room. What a gift. What an amazing gift of beautiful memories that I will have, always. And had she died suddenly, I wouldn’t have experienced this.

As my friend and previous pastor Beth used to say, it is from thorns that roses grow.

Thank God for the thorns.

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I can’t wait until this humid, hazy and hot Georgia weather is replaced by this:

And the view outside my window becomes this:

Equally hot? Yes, according to the thermometer. But it doesn’t feel as hot with the constant ocean breeze.

I miss that feeling of the wind in my hair, that constant roar of the sea and wind, feeling with every pore of my being the power of God’s creation. It’s been too long since I felt it. I can’t wait to see how Jonah reacts to his first view of the ocean, his first splash in the swirling water, his first time digging his toes into warm sand.

I am thankful that we are not vacationing along the Gulf Coast, where the oil spill is damaging beaches everywhere. My heart goes out to those who are being affected by it.

I think I’m going to make it an “ugly” vacation, meaning that unless we’re going somewhere special, I am not going to worry about my makeup and my hair. Thinking about those things is just another thing to do, and my goal for this vacation is to do as little as possible. So, sorry kids and hubby—and whoever else has to look at me. I’m just going to be fat and happy for a few days. I hope you understand.

I am so thankful that soon, there will be no deadlines to meet, no housework looming over me like a permanent black cloud, no appointments to make and to keep. Just free-flowing days, with freedom to play—and hopefully, lots of sleep!

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I am thankful for a husband who brought me meds, and a bucket, and my favorite fuzzy socks while I was sick, and who called to check on me this morning.

I am thankful for two older boys who have helped out with their baby brother today, in a loving and generous manner. Zach and Eli are, quite possibly, the most amazing kids on the planet.

I am thankful that even though we’ve had more viruses than usual this spring, for the most part, my family is very healthy. I know that is a gift.

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Since it is our second-to-last day of school, and this year has been awesome, I am also feeling so grateful for the opportunity to homeschool my sons.

Four years ago, I pretty firmly believed that I couldn’t handle homeschooling, and that I’d never be willing to go that route. I’m so glad that God—and my husband—used various circumstances and friends to convince me that I could.

I just wish I hadn’t been so stubborn about it for so long! It’s such a great fit for our family that if I could go back in time, we’d have done it from the start, and not wasted 3 1/2 years of our life on private school. There were a few good things about that school, but comparing life then to life now? There IS no comparison. That’s why I’m so vocal about encouraging those who’ve considered homeschooling to take the leap, and give it a try. There isn’t anything to lose—if it doesn’t work out, put them back in school. But you could find, as we did, that you gain so much more than you ever imagined.

I know that it’s not a lifestyle that works for everyone, but it’s been nothing but a blessing to me and mine! And today I am very thankful to the God who has been here with us every day to lead us through another year of successful homeschooling. I am so grateful to my Lord, and so proud of my smart, amazing, kind-hearted boys!

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Lord, please help Jonah to fall asleep peacefully. Because listening to him cry, even for just that short time he protests before settling down, hurts my heart.

Last night, at naptime today, and again tonight: Jonah fell asleep without a sound.

Dear Father, please settle Zach’s stomach; let him sleep and not throw up anymore. It’s 4:00 in the morning and we all need our rest. Please heal my son, God.

He hasn’t thrown up again since, and though he’s still feeling puny, is better than he was yesterday.

Please take care of this financial situation that’s been dumped into our laps. I don’t even know what to ask for, God. I just know that I’m worried about how things are going to turn out, and if you don’t intervene, it could be a real problem.

Arrangements have been worked out, and though it’ll be a further strain on an already tightly-stretched budget, somehow I trust it will all be OK in the end.

God, grant me the courage I need to talk to the person who hurt me. Help me to say the right things so that healing can take place, but also help me to speak the truth where needed.

I called the person, and s/he totally, unexpectedly apologized to me before I could utter my first sentence. And now everything is good.

I know those who would say, “Meh, God’s too busy to worry about petty concerns like that. The results you got would’ve happened whether you prayed or not.”

Maybe. Maybe not. All I know from experience is that when I leave God out of the small details, I tend to make a bigger mess of things. If he is my Father God, my Abba, then he wants to help me just as I want to help my children.

I am a fool if I do not seek his guidance and help. Because it is in these little answers, in these small acts of compassion he shows me, that I learn to continue to trust him with the bigger issues.

For seven long years, I doubted I would ever become a mother.

God, please have mercy, and bless us with a baby. I can’t bear the pain of longing to have children any longer. If it isn’t your will for us to be parents, please remove this desire from my heart!

Now my heart and my arms are so full. I am thankful that he is faithful.

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God’s love.

My husband.

My beautiful children.

My friends.

I know you guys don’t want to see that same list each week, but it takes time to dig a little deeper into my thoughts about things I’m grateful for. And Thursday is usually column-crunch-night so I don’t always have a lot of mental energy left to focus on gratitude.

But this week, my column is already mostly written. That is something to be thankful for!

I got a good bit of exercise today (something I hope I’m still thankful for in the morning) and the kids did, too. So by dinnertime, we were all ravenous. And as we sat down to eat together, I felt an overwhelming joy at watching my kids eat. It’s just so satisfying to watch hungry boys dig eagerly into their food.

Maybe it felt especially good because earlier today I saw pictures from a friend who is currently visiting Africa on a missions trip. Yesterday I read the blog of someone who’s been sponsoring a needy child overseas and has the opportunity to go meet that child next week.

Both stories made me realize how crazy it is that I get so worked up about money—or the lack thereof—when compared to these people, I am so stinkin’ rich.

I have indoor plumbing, clean water to drink, and a closet and dresser overflowing with clothes. (Every member of my family has too many clothes.)  I own at least 20 pairs of shoes but regularly wear maybe 5 of them.

I live in a solid brick climate-controlled house, full of furniture and good beds to sleep on. I have a vehicle to drive us around, and the boys got new bikes after Christmas.

I enjoy the privilege of homeschooling my kids and can’t even use all the resources I have to teach them. We own at least six Bibles, something that must seem unreal to Christians in China, many of whom can only hope to own a Bible someday.

There was plenty of cereal and milk for breakfast, and sandwiches and soup for lunch, and for dinner we had delicious baked chicken with garlic cheddar mashed potatoes and other sides. My mom hit the Kroger bakery clearance this morning and dropped off a load of bagels, rolls, cookies and a pie.

Other people in the world are lucky if they ate one small bowl of rice today.

And I have the audacity to complain about the things I don’t have, or that I can’t keep up with the Joneses? How crazy it must all seem to God, that those of us who have so much waste our time focusing on what we think we’re missing.

He’s already given us SO much.

God, forgive me when I don’t take the time to say thanks.

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How easy it is to take for granted the blessing of having a safe and comfortable place to sleep, and a loving husband to curl up with. But tonight, I am truly thankful.

And on that note, I’m outta here.

Goodnight!

For more Thankful Thursday posts, visit Lynn.

I just hung up with my little sister Cherie, and I swear we laughed more than we talked. Maybe it was sharing a room when we were growing up, but we share an odd sense of humor that has gotten us both through some rough times in life. I sent her a Flair button on Facebook the other day that said, “I hope you know that oftentimes, you and I are the only ones who think each other’s funny.” That is definitely true of our relationship. We can be falling over, laughing so hard we can’t breathe, and those around us have no idea what the joke is all about. My dad used to always say, “All you two do is giggle!” It’s still true today, and I hope it’s still true when we’re in our 80′s, giving the nursing home staff a hard time.

(We three girls with our lovely Mom!)

My sister Ninnah is the oldest of the three of us, and has always been more serious. The poor thing was always the “straight man” to my and Cherie’s comedic tricks. But she’s mellowed out so much as we’ve grown older, and when the three of us get together–look out! You can find us by the laughter. Ninnah is the ultimate girly-girl, the sister to go to for decorating or fashion advice, the one I’m most likely to go get a pedicure with. When she lets loose, it’s twice as funny as when anyone else does it, because she works so hard to project an image of elegance and sophistication.

I truly cherish every minute we three sisters get to spend together. With our crazy schedules at this phase of life, it’s hard to make that happen more than a few times a year. So when it does happen, that time is golden. I try not to let anything interfere with it, and I’m thankful for a loving husband who understands and respects the time I need to just be with my girls.

Thank you, God, for my precious, wonderful sisters.

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.  A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” ~Ecclesiastes 4:12

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